Week 5-If I could change one thing about the world at the snap of a finger...
If I could change one thing about the world at the snap of a finger... With such a powerful ability my first thoughts went to loved ones struggling through difficult and heartbreaking circumstances. I would take their pain away in an instant if I could. But their stories are not mine to tell here. So I kept thinking. How could I possibly choose one change with so much suffering and need all around us?
Then, something happened. My jaw has been giving me some trouble lately. A few weeks ago, it was getting more noticeable, more bothersome. Every time it came out of socket, I would hold my breath and wonder, "Hmm, maybe this is the moment when it just doesn't go back in and I never eat anything delicious ever again." And then it would uncomfortably slide back into socket and I would move on until the next time, ultimately trying to drown out the sound of my clanking jaw with chatter in my brain... you know, the same method people use when they hear an unwanted rattle in their car and turn up the radio.
The discomfort has continued over the last week. For a few days now, I've eaten much less than I wanted or felt I needed because chewing has become too painful. This isn't the first time my jaw has been a problem, but it's certainly been the most intense and longest lasting. I've become anxious about it. I even feel bummed and scared due to the uncertainty. I mean, this is interfering with something I love. Something I need. No guys, really, I need food.
Have I ever mentioned I love food? Well I do! And I'm a good eater. I like talking about food and gathering to enjoy it with others. I like knowing what our plan is for the next meal and I'm most content when we have plenty of food and coffee in the house. I try to be kind and friendly, I'm a people pleaser, and when I'm in a group I want to be easy going. But once I reach too hungry, I do not function well. I am not kind and friendly. I'm irritable, I don't think rationally, I snap at my loved ones. My husband has developed a keen sense for when one of these episodes is approaching and he knows to shove a Luna Bar in my mouth or make a plan for food quickly. It's a joke between us but the anger is there, my friends. I get hangry. Real hangry. My family describes someone who is ravenous as being "hungry like Grace." It is no secret that I like to eat and I'm just no good at life when I don't.
So here we are with this ugly jaw situation and I've gone to bed with a nagging stomach several nights in a row. I feel more than hanger; it's a bit of fear. It is really disconcerting not being sure of my eating ability. It has gotten me thinking. Who does function well without enough food, without the certainty of their next meal?
There are a multitude of people going to bed hungry. Starving. A hunger I will likely never know. Think of all that could be accomplished if these hangry, scared, hurting brothers and sisters were fully nourished. So there you have it, if I could change one thing about the world at the snap of a finger, I would end hunger. I would end hanger. We'd all have full, satisfied bellies to help ensure that we're each living as our best selves.
(P.S. Or maybe I should change the fact that I sure am whining a lot about my jaw. Get over it already, amiright?!)