Wednesday, April 15, 2015

March was a bit of a blur.  With snow days and traveling and spring break, it was hard to get a real schedule.  It's fun to change things up every once in awhile, but now with many lasting memories and warm feelings tucked deep within us, I'm ready for some order.  Mostly I'm ready for a few times in the week where I get a chance to write in my house, all alone, without any little voices or sticky fingers or pee on the floor.  I love those little voices and sticky fingers (the pee on the floor not so much), but getting a chance to write lets me take a long breath of fresh air.  I feel whole again, there's a skip in my step, I no longer think I'm going to burst.

So with a little time to write, I'll tell you about March.  As I said it was an irregular kind of month for us, but also a really good one.  At the beginning of this year, I could tell I felt so much better already than I did last Fall and in the early Winter months.  I was coming out of a fog and life was more enjoyable, more manageable.  I still had some tough days though, where I felt anxious, super sensitive, a little blue.  This discouraged me at first, like all the hard work I had put into feeling better was out the window just like that.  But then it occurred to me that life is always work.  And that's okay.  It's work in the way all really great things are, you know?  A wonderful, productive, makes your body ache like a good workout kind of work.  A trudging through the darkness, skipping through the magical, continuing to walk through the ordinary kind of work.  I've always been more content when I've had a job I'm working on anyway, in all the forms jobs can come in.  Of course life is work, Grace.  Maybe I was just realizing it in a new way, because I've been doing a lot of self-reflection over the last year.  Trying to figure out who I am and what I'm doing?  I guess I had hoped to reach some conclusion by now.  Yikes.  

But with March, I felt comfortable in acknowledging and accepting that life is work.  And life is really fantastic.  March displayed so vividly some of my favorite things... my growing kids, good friends (old and new), good family, community, food, music, home, sunshine.  Praise Jesus for the bright days, cool breezes against the skin, and warmer temperatures that Spring brings.  These days have reset my soul.  

And yet, there were still struggles in March.   I failed at parenting over and over again.  I had to apologize to myself and my family daily.  My loved ones were hurting- are hurting.  That's the part I really hate.  But Community, Presence, and Food all stepped in, very heroically, as they tend to do, numerous times throughout March, to comfort, bring closer, whisper in the ear that "every little thing gonna be alright."  

As always, when I look back over the pictures, I wonder what I ever had to worry over.  Life is good and well worth the work.  I'm grateful for you, March, with your life lessons and open-toed shoes and the promise for more of that goodness just around the corner.

Okay, I'll be real honest with you... A few of these pictures are from the very end of February and the very beginning of April.  So this post is sort of living a lie, but I'm a grown up and I can do what I want.  Also, as usual this is a combination of phone and Canon pics.  Now you have all the information you'll ever need. ;)


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