Sometimes I hate that the main times I'm inspired and motivated to write are when I have to because otherwise I'll burst... meaning they are usually posts about feeling sensitive or my aches with life's ups and downs. I want my writing to be carefree, and dare I say, cool. But I am painfully sensitive to the world around me, to my feelings, and those of others. It makes for quite a lot going on in my head most of the time, and it makes for a large lack of carefree and cool.
Often writing is one of my go-to ways of leaning into any discomfort I may be feeling. As I've said before, it shows me what's really bothering me and allows for a release, after scrolling through Facebook has left me feeling numb with no relief, sometimes even worse than when I began.
I've told some friends that I don't know how to be a writer. I'd like to think that I'm a pretty teachable person, but more so when I've had a teacher or coach getting me started, showing me what has worked in the past, giving suggestions for practice and discipline. Of course I have read about these things in relation to writing, but I still feel like I'm wandering, mostly aimlessly.
But I just keep on wandering, even if it feels aimless, because deep down, I know it's not. Deep down, I know there's no other way. While I wish I had more direction, could see a little further ahead on the path, I wouldn't change it, because this aimless wandering has filled me up. Aimlessly wandering and stringing together words has become my thing.
Which works well with my new mantra (along with about 6 others from Amy Poehler's book, Yes Please):
"We did the thing. Because remember, the talking about the thing isn't the thing. The doing of the thing is the thing."
(She's kind of my hero. Well her, and Leslie Knope.)
I sure like the thing. My very uncool, worry-filled, yet life-giving and joy-producing, wildly weird thing.
What's your thing? Go do it!
(My other thing is taking pictures of my kids. Because they too are life-giving, joy-producing, and wildly, wildly weird. In the absolute best kind of way.)