Where to begin?

Tuesday, September 1, 2015


It's sort of always the question, isn't it?  I sometimes often have trouble getting started with tasks.  Easy tasks, hard tasks, everyday tasks, new tasks.  I don't like to start a project I can't finish.  I don't like to start something without having all the information about all the things, and all the possible obstacles accounted for.  Yikes.  It's amazing I've made it this far in life, huh?!  

After taking such a long break from blogging and feeling eager to get back into it as my kids have started school, I've thought long and hard on what to cover and where to begin.  I've spent a lot of time trying to organize the gazillions of photos that have been taken over the last several months.  I'm still not organized and still don't really know where to begin.  I'm having trouble starting this task, friends.  So, I'm just jumping in blindly, haphazardly.  That's how so much of life is for me anyway, regardless of how much time I spend trying to control it and keep it tidy.  The first few years of my thirties have taught me how rugged the road can be.  And how much beauty and adventure lie in that bumpy terrain.  It's constant really, the ups and downs.  I knew there was much pain in the world, but I guess I didn't really grasp how much of that discomfort could be wrapped up and intertwined with so much joy day in and day out.  I'm trying to make sense of this.  It has kept me silent from here.  Too much to sort out.  But remember (see above), I'm jumping back in, without all the information about all the things.  I'll never have it (sigh).  

I don't know how to adequately describe this summer.  It held such highs and lows.  There was so much to celebrate, with birthdays and anniversaries.  Jaron and I celebrated our 10th (!) wedding anniversary and traveled to Napa Valley (by ourselves!) and drank wine at 10:30am and coffee at 5:30pm.  It was magic.  We visited family and got to see old and new friends.  The kids and I were extra lazy with most of our days, tried to soak up the sunshine and find adventure in the ordinary.  It was delightful.  

And yet, this summer also held the lowest of lows with the loss of loved ones.  Really precious loved ones.  It was sad and uncomfortable and painful.  It's still sad.  There was celebration for these beautiful and brave lives.  And we keep remembering them.  Remembering always, paying forward hope and love.      

I plan to write more about the summer and life lately.  I will share way too many pictures, because it's what I do.  You won't recognize my kids.  It's completely unacceptable how big they have gotten.  It's the worst and it's the best.  Oh, just like life sometimes.  The worst and the best.  I'm putting my hope in more of the best though.  That's where I'll begin.  

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